Tough Skin

Over the past few days, I've decided that you really have to have tough skin to be the mother of a preschooler. Addi has been just telling the truth about everything, regardless of who's feelings she might hurt. First, let me just say, I'm aware that I'm fat. I have been fat since I was in the third grade. I think I made it all the way through school without being tortured about that too much. Who knew that my four year old would innocently deal out some of the most hurtful comments I've ever heard in my life???

A couple of weeks ago we were heading home from visiting Daniel and Mandi. Paul was eating some of Addi's Cheez-its. She was starting to realize he was eating several of them to which she said, "Daddy, if you keep eating my cheese crackers, you're going to be as big as mommy."

The next day Addi was "exercising" in her room to an old Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies tape. She came in my room and said, "Mommy, you need to come in here and exercise with me." I said, "Addi, I don't want to right now." To which she replied, "Well, you know exercise is good for fat and you are very fat." To which I frustratingly replied, "Well, you're not skinny Addi." To which she replied again, "Well, at least I'm exercising for it." Okay, I'll give her credit for that.

This week has been no better. She, as innocently as possible, compared me to the fat opera singer in the movie Curious George.

Last night we were watching tv together when a commercial for light yogurt came on (the one with the Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini song in it). She quickly said, "Mommy, you need to get you some of that. It's good for getting rid of fat."

I have to be honest and say I've shed a few tears over it. Not because of Addi, but because it really hit home that my size already affects her. I don't want her to go to kindergarten and be the kid with the fattest mom. So, I've really been hitting the weight watcher hard this week. I have been up and down, up and down, but I'm resolving to do better! As a matter of fact, I'm going to step out on a limb and say that I'm going to chart my progress on my blog. Maybe humiliation will prompt some success! I'm not going to post my weight (I'm not up to that yet), but I will post my progress.